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Mom shows body to teach sex

That’s the title of the article, which is unfortunately worded. The gist, is that a woman brought her son to the gynecologist’s office, and while there explained reproductive processes in a frank way, using her own body.

The implication of the article, is that it was very clinical, non sexual.

Approve or disapprove?

Originally published at Mike Pictor. You can comment here or there.

Date: 2007-01-17 05:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kattale.livejournal.com
It is only in recent decades that a child does not grow up seeing the bodies of his family members. Of course, in modern times, with our (valid) paranoia about sexual abuse, her choice to present this in the presence of a doctor left no question about the clinical nature of the lesson.

My real criticism of this is that she left this way too long. A 14 year old boy is deep into his emerging sexuality. He will not view a breast or a vagina in the same way he views an elbow or a nose. We did body parts when the girls were learning speech, when a penis or vagina held no other significance than any other body part. The production of a baby is easily covered at the same time. As for sexuality - the act of intercourse, i'm not sure when is the best time for that concept. But not as late as 14 - i know 9-year-old girls who have begun menstrating. I think we owe it to our kids to give them all the information before their bodies start suggesting they make decisions about it.

Date: 2007-01-17 05:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dubhease.livejournal.com
I found it creepy that he was 14. If he had been younger, say or 8, it would have been less creepy. By the time kids hit puberty, there needs to be different boundaries in terms of privacy and nudity in a family.

I'm trying to imagine having to watch my mom get an exam when I was 14 and all I can think of is "ewwww." And that's as a girl. How would you have felkt if you'd been that boy?

Date: 2007-01-17 06:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-and-t.livejournal.com
I didn't read the article, just the responses.

If it's a 14 yr old boy and his mother is getting naked and showing him...ewwwwwwww. Creepy beyond words for me.

And not just in the 'I don't want to see MY mom naked'. More in the 'mother using her body to show things to 14 yr old boy'.

T.

Date: 2007-01-17 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ilanikhan.livejournal.com
I'm not sure if I would say it's creepy, but I worry how this young man is affected by it. Many children who walk in on their parents having sex get over it, but this kid was forced to sit and watch his mother go through an experience that is, while clinical, intensly intimate. AND listen to her give a running commentary. You can't tell me that isn't going to affect him the next time he's with a woman. Even if he were younger.

I wonder how this could be made to be more acceptable?

Date: 2007-01-17 07:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-and-t.livejournal.com
How to make it more acceptable?

Don't do it. :-)

T.

Date: 2007-01-17 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ilanikhan.livejournal.com
I mean, the premise is - um, unique. I wonder if it could be workable?

Date: 2007-01-17 08:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-and-t.livejournal.com
Well, to start, don't use family members. (I'm actually serious on this one) If you really feel you must show this on real people live instead of on video.

The funny thing is that this reminds me of that scene from the meaning of life with John Cleese as a teacher.

T.

Date: 2007-01-18 05:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kira-lynn.livejournal.com
It says she used her body to show how a woman gets pregnant and delivers, and you really don't need a vagina to show that.

Date: 2007-01-18 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shyska.livejournal.com
When I read the title of the article on your post I thought: Approve.
When I read the age of the 'boy' I was unpleasantly surprised.
If this guy grows up to have a normal sex life that does not involve older women and medical fetish I will be surprised. Who knows, maybe he's already gay. Cynicism aside.

I guess I don't feel there is any *showing* necessary, and perhaps that it takes away from the discovery of the first partners body, the magic of that.

I do feel that here many of us are too obsessively private about nudity and changing. Children don't care beyond the basic curiosity of 'oh, is that what big girl looks like under her clothes, okay'.

Perhaps it would have been more beneficial at an earlier age, but frankly I don't think he had any business in that doctor's office unless he specifically asked his mother to explain that to him in that way.

If she had simply sat at home with him, even at 14 years old, and verbally explained reproduction I think it would have been sufficient.

Do I actively disapprove of her actions? No. Would I recreate them myself or encourage others to do so? Also no.

I agree with the view expressed above that the basics of anatomical differences between the sexes should be explained before puberty. Questions of a sexual nature should be addressed either around puberty or when the child asks, whichever comes first.

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